A colleague told me about a 1970s beauty icon she’d just seen in a movie. “She looked amazing! No wrinkles, no double chin, no neck rings.” She paused and said, “She looked perfect, but she didn’t look good.”
I knew what she meant. There’s something wrong about looking so right.
There must be a lot of pressure on maturing beauty queens. Sure, they still want to be admired, but do they need to be flawless? Other stars manage to look great, wrinkles and all. And did you know women with curves, scars, and cellulite now appear in women’s magazines? I didn’t, by the way. I had to be told.
What Price Perfection?
This reminds me of a guy in our profession who’s known for the expression, “A little better than perfect.” I like that. A lot. “Perfect” is like the shape of a hashed brown from McDonald’s, or just about any of their pre-formed food. “Better than perfect” is what you’d find at a fine restaurant. Think about it—most foodies wouldn’t be caught dead at McDonald’s, except maybe to use the bathroom in an emergency.
Is perfection a standard we ought to strive for? Excellence is certainly worth pursuing, but is this the same as “flawless?”
Bright people have been mulling this over for a long time, and the consensus seems to be: You can do really, really well in life without dotting every “I” and crossing every “t.” As Voltaire famously said back in 1770, “Perfect is the enemy of good.”
Yet people get mired in seeking perfection all the time, turning small setbacks and imperfections into roadblocks, instead of mere stumbling blocks. Have you ever not tried to do something because you were afraid you wouldn’t be No. 1? Or have you ever expected to be great the first time out, but failed — like a kid who thinks he should hit like Jose Altuve the first time at bat in a Little League game? Maybe it was during the initial contact with a prospect — you expected to bat a thousand, but instead walked away thinking you’re no good at planned giving because the person canceled at the last minute.
Forget Flawless
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating laziness or sloppiness. No one wants to see a mail appeal flop because the names were upside down on the envelopes. A woman who regularly gives to a charity doesn’t want to read a letter addressed to herself and to her husband, who died ten years ago.
So, yes, do your homework and footwork. Do your best. But be flawless? It’s just not possible, so don’t be so hard on yourself when you trip up.
Everybody makes mistakes. Give yourself a break. And don’t forget to keep your sense of humor. Think of the young copyeditor with a long-ago newspaper who missed a mistake in a full-page ad. A store was advertising, “Men’s Shirts—two for $10.00.” Unfortunately, the printed version left out the “r” in shirts!
Anyone who is mentally healthy doesn’t expect perfection in themselves or anyone else. I mean, how many of us can afford to look like that actress who’d had a ton of work?
Maybe what we should be striving for is less than perfect, which is actually a little better than perfect.
