As a campaign consultant and major gifts coach, I have experienced many rewarding moments among top philanthropic donors and nonprofit leaders. If you are reading this article, you likely fit within one or both of these populations and understand that, as Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” We staff and volunteers proudly classify ourselves as the bleeding hearts of society, waking each day to find what good the world can bring to those in need. We find great fulfillment in simply making a difference. That said, in every major gifts operation there are a few key factors that will either foster success or precipitate repeated frustration. In this brief, light, and digestible rant, I will define emotional intelligence and the role it plays in several aspects of successful major gifts management.
For the sake of creativity, let’s relate this conversation to our time spent in the kitchen. Have you ever set out to make an incredible recipe, gathered all the right ingredients and supplies and begun your process only to find that you forgot one ingredient? In the interest of time, you tried that recipe sans the missing ingredient, or perhaps, you experimented with a replacement option for the first time. After all, it’s just one ingredient, right?
But using the shortcut made the dish a flop, and you couldn’t fix it. In reflection, as you look at your not-so-culinary masterpiece, you thought to yourself: I should have paused and taken the time to head to the store to get that one key ingredient.
This kitchen analogy translates to Nonprofit Organizations (NPOs) all over the world as they build teams and strategies to acquire major gifts. In my 24 years of NPO experience, and most recently, in my past ten years of consulting, the one key ingredient I have found in the recipe for success is Emotional Intelligence, widely known as “EQ.” And like most special ingredients, it is either in place, poorly substituted, or noticeably lacking.
Our business of fundraising to build thriving major gift programs is approximately 20% technical (data, research, business and strategic plans, collateral materials, and social media) and 80% interpersonal skills. Because relational skills are required for overall success, we must recognize the importance of empowering our charitable leaders with an understanding of EQ and its role in a successful and thriving NPO.
We will first define EQ as it is globally understood — and often misunderstood. Next, we will review two of the most common scenarios (of which there are many) where the lack of EQ leads to larger issues. Finally, we will explore solutions and precautions to ensure your operation and organization is well-stocked with a heaping portion of EQ in its recipe for a thriving major gifts program.
The term emotional intelligence is often misused and often misinterpreted. For the sake of a shared understanding, let us define this concept as “one’s ability to observe, detect, and categorize one’s own emotions as well as those of others, while using this information to inform one’s decisions, thinking, and behavior.” Historically speaking, the term “emotional intelligence” (EI) dates to a 1964 paper authored by Michael Beldoch, but the concept really caught the public’s attention in the last couple of decades as a result of Daniel Goleman’s best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ (1994). It presented the idea that something other than raw intelligence was a better predictor of success and interpersonal skills. Compelling thought and the concept of this new form of “intelligence” started out somewhat amorphously in its previous incarnations, and many people have sought to create a model for studying what, exactly, emotional intelligence is.
Another term that emerged out of this process was EQ (or Emotional Quotient, like Intelligence Quotient) as a rubric for measuring aptitude. Definitions of emotional intelligence vary, however, as it is still very much an evolving field; models for gauging emotional intelligence continue to be refined and explored today. (Ramsay, Doug. “Emotional Intelligence: A History and Definition.” Adventure Associates, February 2, 2017.)
