We All Have Adversity
“Whenever there is adversity, the single biggest gift that God has given you is attitude. Only you can control your attitude.” That is what Mike Krzyzewski, the Hall of Fame basketball coach with the most wins in college basketball, once said after a terrible loss.
So, how do we achieve a positive mental attitude?…
Take action.
I am a big believer in taking action to keep my PMA.
Don’t lollygag or stare at the ceiling like you are lost. If you have something you need to get done, then get to it.
Quit putting off that big project for whatever reason. The best thing to do to improve your attitude is to get started and begin the necessary actions. Even if it’s simple steps to take to overcome fear as a major gifts officer.
My mother contended that, whenever she had a cold, she did what she had been procrastinating to do—And her cold would go away! Truth. Try it.
Let’s push this a little further: When you take action, act with a purpose.
Achieving Goals
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What goal are you trying to accomplish today, this month, or this year? What big goal do you want to achieve in life?
There are too many people who walk through life blindly, with no real reason for what they do.
When people live with a daily sense of purpose—and act accordingly—they go through life knowing they are making meaningful progress and positively affect those around them.
Meaningful Progress
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One step further…
Progress, whether in career or in personal life, requires one step further.
Once you take action and act with purpose, then, you have to let it go. Holding on, worrying, or wasting precious time will only put a downer on your attitude.
In fact, I believe that unnecessary worrying is a complete waste of time (especially when I do it). If something happens, it will happen regardless of whether you worry about it or not!
What action do you need to take now? Why, for what purpose? What do you need to quit worrying about? Who do you have to negotiate with? Do you have to begin looking for a new job?
Let it go.
Often Overlooked
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A critical, yet overlooked action that helps people maintain a positive mental attitude is…
Forgiving others.
Talk about tough! I have had some unforgettable things happen to me, and I know you have too.
Too often, we are disappointed by other people’s actions or non-action. We get angry, sometimes for years. We want to retaliate. Rather than getting angry or retaliating, the best way to improve the situation and our attitude is to forgive.
I’ve found that many people are unaware of their actions, they don’t understand why they do the things they do, or don’t know why they say the things they say
Specific Thoughts Regarding Forgiveness
- All of us have limitations:
It is frequently these limitations that cause inappropriate actions. It is just as important to forgive the limitations of others, as it is to forgive our own limitations.
- Forgive the small things in life:
This allows you to move forward right away, and that is critical to your daily PMA.
- The larger issues of life, such as physical, mental, or financial harm caused by others—take time to forgive:
Forgiveness rarely takes place all at once. It happens in layers, over time. Even after years, when you thought you had forgiven and moved on, something will happen that again stirs up your anger. The key is to understand what stirred the anger. Is there something else or another layer of forgiveness you must consider? Don’t ignore it. Face it. Forgive again.
Your forgiveness (which is not about letting others off the hook, but rather letting yourself off the hook) will improve your attitude. It allows you to move forward.
Let me get personal—Who do you need to forgive right now?
Know Your Worth
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Finally, stop comparing yourself to others.
Honestly, this happened to me the other day. I was looking at some LinkedIn profiles of people I know, and the next thing I knew, I was comparing my career to theirs and feeling inferior.
Guess what…My attitude went down for a few hours until I realized what I had done. Then, I took my own advice—I got back to work and took action with purpose.
It’s human to compare our lives with others, but when you do it too often, then you drag yourself down. You start to think that your life isn’t going the way it’s supposed to go. You begin to believe someone else’s life looks better than yours.
It’s important to remember that you observe an external view of their life; In fact, things may look much different behind closed doors. So, spare yourself the lousy attitude, focus on your own life, and you’ll be much happier.
Now, let me be clear here…This recommendation does not apply to friendly competition. These competitions can range from competing to raise the most money, engage the most donors, or discover the most new prospects.
I believe friendly competition is designed to motivate you. If it isn’t motivating you, then it is either not a healthy competition, or you need to alter your perspective.
If you want to improve your attitude, then quit comparing yourself to others.
To keep their positive mental attitude, highly successful fundraisers take action, act with purpose, and then let it go. They forgive. Finally, they avoid comparing themselves to others in unhealthy ways.
