Looking for a Rich Husband?

I’m happily married. And thank God for that—because the dating scene is a jungle, and I was never Tarzan. I’m more of a nerd—always have been. Why do you think I’m in planned giving? And while I have yet to be nominated for a Pulitzer in charitable gift marketing (a travesty, really), I persevere in my noble quest to educate the masses. But my friend Sharon? She thrives in the wild. She’s on dating apps, constantly swiping for Mr. Right. (And for those of you wondering what this has to do with planned giving, stay with me.)

One day, Sharon laid it out plainly: “I want to marry a rich guy.”

Oh, do you now? Well, don’t we all.

But it got me thinking… What are the actual odds that Sharon will find and marry a rich man?

Defining “Rich”

First things first—what do we mean by rich? Because if we go by the worldwide average income, anyone making more than $10,000 a year is “rich.” That includes my friend’s son, who’s fresh out of college and currently working at Applebee’s.

Of course, Sharon wasn’t talking about that kind of rich. She wants billionaire yachts, not half-price apps. (BTW, a 100-foot yacht begins at $100M.) So let’s define “rich” as the real top 1%.

According to the IRS, the top 1% of earners in the U.S. have an Adjusted Gross Income of $652,657 (TY 2023). Not exactly yacht money, but we’ll roll with it.

(As an aside, our recent poll at an AFP meeting in NE Pennsylvania revealed most fundraisers believe the top 1% earns between $10M and $50M… they need some financial education!)

So let’s say Sharon is only looking for men who make at least $652K a year. Sounds reasonable, right? Let’s run the numbers.

• About 49% of the top 1% are men.
• 80% of them are already married (and Sharon isn’t looking to break up a happy home—at least, not intentionally). That takes us down to 0.1% of the population.
• Let’s assume she prefers a guy with a full head of hair (since baldness and high net worth seem to go hand in hand). Cut her options in half. We’re at 0.05%.
• Many women prefer a tall, “fit” man. But plenty of rich guys, hair or not, are short and doughy. So let’s assume she cuts her pool in half again. That’s 0.025% of the male population.
• Statistically, about 30% of high-earning men work more than 60 hours a week—meaning even if she finds one, he might have no time for her. That trims her pool even further.
• Sharon lives in Austin, which has a population of 964,000. Based on our calculations, that leaves her with approximately 128 “rich” guys to choose from.

And that’s before factoring in whether they’re actually on a dating app, single at the right time, and interested in Sharon specifically.

Translation: Sharon’s chances of landing a rich guy? About the same odds as getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery and simultaneously being drafted into the NBA—despite never having touched a basketball.

I Want to Meet a Wealthy Donor

Now let’s extend Sharon’s little dilemma to fundraising.

Fundraiser Fred wants to meet a wealthy donor—the kind who can write a check that makes accountants weep with joy. Like Sharon, he’s fishing in a very small pond.

• He starts with the same top 1% of earners (AGI of $652,657 or more).But only about 60% of these people are actively philanthropic. That drops his pool to 0.6% of the population.
• Of those, maybe half have any interest in Fred’s particular cause. Now we’re at 0.3%.
• And about 80% of those already have established giving relationships with other organizations. So Fred’s true pool is down to 0.06% of the population.
• Then, there’s the issue of fundraiser blind spots:
  • 72% of fundraisers struggle to connect with donors who hold different political beliefs.
  • 25% get nervous talking to ultra-wealthy donors.
  • A growing number outright reject gifts from certain wealthy individuals for ethical reasons.
  • 6% feel uncomfortable dealing with donors of the opposite sex.

See where I’m going with this?

Fred, much like Sharon, has put himself in a position where he’s searching for a needle in a haystack—and lighting the haystack on fire while he’s at it.

Planned Giving: Philanthropy for the Rest of Us

Could Sharon land a rich guy? Sure, anything’s possible. Could Fred land a mega-donor? Also possible. But building a fundraising strategy around it is like making a retirement plan based on winning the Powerball.

Here’s the reality: average people with average means make the best planned giving prospects.

No awkward power dynamics.

No intimidating meetings.

No blind spots about wealth, politics, or whether they fly private or commercial.

They’re not in the top 1%. They’re not going to fund your entire capital campaign with a stroke of a pen. But they have assets. And most importantly?

They actually want to make a difference.

That’s the beauty of planned giving—it’s philanthropy for the rest of us.

And best of all? The odds are in your favor. Unlike Sharon’s quest for Mr. Moneybags or Fred’s hunt for the elusive mega-donor, planned giving lets you work with real people who might not own yachts but do own homes, retirement accounts, and a genuine desire to leave a legacy.

Now that’s a match made in heaven. And if you do the math, the odds are in your favor.